Totem

SOUNDCLOUD >>> Coming Soon

Take me away from this prison of ordinary things
The walls: unseen
The bars: routine

My spirit wrapped in chains

Any little change
A minefield blowing bombs of pain
My mind destroyed by a random noise
Or a Totem out of place

Why was it me?
A miniscule switch flipped in a gene
I’d play the game if I knew the rules
Of cold reality…

Outside these walls, the fools rush past
The stuff of dreams
Oblivious to the dangers from which
My Totems shelter me….

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_{Words and Music by Dave Ryder Copyright © 2015
Drums: Chris Rose}

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Here are some scenes I visualize in the video for this song: kids with ASD stacking and lining up objects like teddy bears and toys, interspersed with Indians carving a totem pole, and shots of perfectly lined up mechanics tools, prayer beads, crosses, pentagrams and Celtic emblems, hell lets throw in some Hindu, Muslim and Buddhist symbols too, we might as well piss everybody off.

I see parallels between individual totemism and ASD behaviors regarding the importance some autistic persons place on certain objects, but that may just be me seeing patterns and relations in situations that aren’t really there (a trait I’m frequently guilty of).

Still, it makes me wonder (this is from wikipedia, and slightly edited to rid the quote of animism references, which are not relevant to this particular train of thought, or more accurately chain of suppositions):

“Individual totemism is expressed in an intimate relationship of friendship and protection between a person and an object; the natural object can grant special power to its owner. Frequently connected with individual totemism are definite ideas about the human soul and conceptions derived from them, such as the idea of an alter ego and nagualism—from the Spanish form of the Aztec word naualli, “something hidden or veiled”—which means that a kind of simultaneous existence is assumed between a natural object and a person; i.e., a mutual, close bond of life and fate exists in such a way that in case of the injury, sickness, or death of one partner, the same fate would befall the other member of the relationship.”

Seen in this light, the behavior is no stranger than me not removing my wedding ring one time in almost 10 years, or the fact that I never record music on tracks 6 or 13 (I also never step on cracks in the sidewalk, even though my mother has been dead for over 20 years). It seems to me that superstition and totemism are similar behaviors: attempts to control (or at least tame) the chaos of life: in my case by eliminating potential dangers, and in the case of totemists enlisting the aid of a spiritual ally.

As if I needed more proof that something beautiful can grow from what others perceive to be a flaw.
_{Picture by Fuzzy Gerdes.}